Bozzy and Piozzi, or, the British biographers, a town eclogue. By Peter Pindar, Esq. 1786

ee, e
B OZ 2 * AND PIOZZI,

OR, THE
BRITISH BIOGRAPHERS, |
.

TOWN ECLOGUE.

By PETER PINDAR, Eso.

tes. £4 VA. *

6

* «2s

—— cad ambo,

Et cantare pares, et reſpondere, parati!/
VigGILe

—

FOURTH TT (

1

mY 9 O. 0+ cope 10 owe ee

MyDCC,LXXXVI.

Tax ARGUMENT.

ON the death of Doc ven Jonns0N, a number ©
people, ambitious of being diſtinguiſhed from th
mute part of their ſpecies, ſet about relating and print
ing Stories and Bon Mots of this celebrated morali
Amongſt the moſt zealous, though not the moſt e
lightened, appeared Mr. BoswELL and MAD AM
P10zz1, the HE Ro and HERoINE of our EcLoGusz
They are ſuppoſed to have in contemplation the L1p
of JounsoN ; and to prove their biographical abil
ties, appeal to Six JoHN Hawkins for his deciſic

on their reſpective merits, by quotations from the
| printed anecdotes of the Doc roR. Six JoHN hea
them with uncommon patience, and determines ve
properly on the pretenſions of the contending parties

1
”
7
3 4
p 7 ;
. ,
*
— 7
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B OZ Z Y any PIO Z Z ,
A PAIR OF

TOWN ECLOGUES.

WIEN JounsoN ſought (as Shakeſpeare ſays) that
bourn,

From whence, alas! no travellers return :

In humbler Engliſh, when the Doc ron died,

AyoLLo whimper'd and the Muszs cried;

Parnassus mop'd for days, in buſineſs ſlack,

And like a herſe, the hill was hung with black.

MINERVA

E

MINERVA ſighing for her fav'rite ſon, |
Pronounc'd, with lengthen'd face the world undone : |
Her ow. too, hooted in ſo loud a tile,
That people might have heard the BIRD, a mile
Jove wip'd his eyes ſo red, and told his wir E

He ne'er made Jonxsox's equal, in his life;

i And that *twould be a Jong view firſt, if ever,

His art could form a fellow half fo clever
Venus, of all the little Loves, the DAM ,

With all the GRAcEs, ſobb'd for BROTHER SAM:
Such were the heav'nly howlings for his death,

As if Dau Na run had reſign'd her breath.

Nor leſs ſonorous was the grief, I ween,

Amidſt the natives of our earthly ſcene :

From beggars, to the GREAT who hold the helm,

One Jebnſo-mania, rag'd through all the realm!
*© Ibo, (cried the world) can match his proſe or rhime ? =
O'er wits of modern days „ he tow'rs Jublime /

An OAK, wide {ſpreading o'er the ſhrubs below,

That round his roots, with * foliage, blow: 8

A PYRAMID,

49

A PYRAMID, amidft ſome barren waſte,

That frowns o'er buts the ſport of ev'ry blaſt:

A mighty ATLAs, whoſe aſpiring head,

O'er diſtant regions, caſts an awful ſhade. a

By K1NGs and vagabonds, his tales are told,

And ev'ry ſentence glows a dh of gold

Bleſt! wo his philoſophic phiz can take,
Catch _ his weakneſſes —his NODDLE's ſhake,
The lengthen'd lip of ſcorn, the forehead's ſcowl,
The low'ring eve's contempt, and bear-like growl.

In vain, the cRITIcs vent their toothleſs rage

Mere ſprats, that venture, war with WHALE 8 „to wage:

Unmov'd he ſtands, and feels their force, no more,
Than ſome huge rock amidſt the wa#ry roar,
That calmly bears the tumults of the DEEP,
And howling TE MpESTs, that as well, might ſeep.”
Strong, midſt the Ra ina R's cronies, was the rage
To fill with Sam's bon mats, and tales, the page:
Mere flies, that buzz'd around his ſetting ray,

And bore a ſplendor, on their wings, away:

B | Thus

l — LEL—R—=———
— f EEE —— — ———ß7§ß%—ðr—fr'ßß——— on

1 *

9

1
Thus round his ors, the pigmy PLANETS run,

Anil catch their little luſtre from the SUN:

Ar length, ruſh'd forth two CANDIDATES for
fame,
A ScorchuAx, one; and one a London DAME :
That, by th' emphatic JOHNSON, chriſned Bozzy 3 -
This, by the Bisnoe's Licence, DAMEk Piozz1;

| | Wipe widow'd name, by topers, lov'd, was THRALE
| Bright in the. annals of eledlion ale

A name, by marriage, that gave up. the ghoſt 1

In for PEDoccnio, no- i02zZz1, loſt!

Each ſeiz d with ardor wild, the grey gooſe quill:
Each ſat to work, the intellectual mill;

That pecks of bran ſo coarſe, began to pour,

To one ſmall ſolitary grain of flour.

* The author was nearly committing a blunder—fortunate
indeed was his recollection; as Pedocclio ſignifies in the Italian
language, that moſt contemptible of all animals, a Lousk.

Fox r H

„

; Fox r H ruſh'd to light, their books—but who ſhould

aß;

Wen bore the palm of anecdote away ?

This, to decide, the RIVAL WITS agreed,

Before SIR Jonn, their tales, a jokes to read,

And let the KxIchx's opinion in the ſtrife,

Declare the prop'reſt pen, to write SAM'S LIFE.

Six JoHN, renown'd for muſical * palavers :

The PRINCE, the KinG, the EMPEROR of Qua-
vers /

Sharp in ſolfeggi, as the ſharpeſt needle :

Great in the noble art of tweedle-tweedle.

Of Music's College, form'd to be a FELLOw,

Fit for Mus: D. or MAESTRO DE CAPELLA;

Whoſe VoLuME „ tho? it here and there offends,

Boaſts G neri.— makes by bulk, amends.

Superior, fromning o'er ofavo wits

High plac'd the venerable quaRToO fits ;

* Vid. his Hiſtory of Muſic.
0.2 And

x
*
— — erent

— —

[ 12 ]

And duodecimos, ignoble ſcum |!

Poor proſtitutes to ev'ry vulgar thumb!
Whilſt undefil'd by literary rage,

He bears a ſpotleſs leaf from age to age.

— - ˙ ¹ßÄ . ˙˙— . — ö . TOI OI
F *
2 .
9 * * *

LIKE ſchool-boys, lo! before a two-arm'd chair

CCC —— ————_s

Or like two ponies on the ſporting ground
Prepar'd to gallop when the ÞRUM ſhould ſound,
The coueLE rang'd—for vict'ry, both as keen,
As for a tott'ring biſhoprick, a DEAN, |
Or patriot Burke, for giving glorious baſtings

To that intollerable fellow Has TINGS.

Thus with their ſongs, contended VIRGIL's SWAINS,
And made the valleys vocal with their ftrains,
Before ſome grey beard swAin, whoſe judgment ripe,

Gave goats for prizes, to the prettieſt pipe.

| 4 Alternately, in anecdotes, go on;

But firſt, begin you MAD AM,“ cried SIR Jon :

That held the xx IG, wiſe judging, ſtood the PAIR:

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The thankful DAME, low curtfied to the HAIR,

And thus, for vict'ry, panting, read, the FAIR.

MADAME PIOZ Z I. *

SAM JOHNSON was of MICHAEL Jonxsox, born;
W hoſe ſhop of books, did L1iTCHFIELD Town, adorn:
Wrong-headed, ſtubborn as a Halter d RAM;
In ſhort, the model of our HERO Sa:
Inclin'd to madneſs too — for when his ſhop
Fell down, for want of caſh to buy a prop;
For fear the thieves might ſteal the vaniſÞ'd ſtore,

He duly went each night, and lech'd the door!

1 WI

WnILSsT JoaunsoN was in Edinburgh, my wire,

To pleafe his palate, ſtudied for her life:

* Vid. Piozzi's Anecdotcs, page 3.

+ Bozzy*s Tour, page 38, =
With

—
*

— . ——-»àüjijitʃ?4t..r.

F Een an rote et AT tt >

r «a |

With ev'ry rarity ſhe fill'd her houſe,

And gave the Doc rok, for his dinner, grouſe.

MADAME PIOZ Zz 1.

DAR DocTor JokNsoN was in fize an ox;
And from his UNxcLIEK ANDREW, learn'd to. box ;
A MAN, to wreſtlers, and to bruiſers, dear,

Who kept the ring in SMITHFIELD a whole year.
OO 2 © T-*
AT ſupper, roſe a dialogue on witches,

When CROsBIE ſaid, there could not be ſuch b-tch-s ;

And that *rwas blaſphemy to think ſuch nacs

Could ſtir up ſtorms, and on their broomſtick NAGSs
Gallop along the air with wondrous pace,

And boldly fly in Gop ALMIGHTY's face:

1
* Piozzi's Aneccotes, p. 5.

+ P. 39.

But

1

But JoHN SON anſwer'd him, ** there might be witches

Nought prov'd the non-exiſtence of the b-tch-s.”

MADAME PIO

Warn THRALE as nimble as a boy at ſchool,
Jump'd, tho? fatigu'd with hunting, o'er a e;
The Doc ron, proud the ſame grand feat, to 2
His pow rs, exerted, and jump'd over too.

And tho' he might a broken back bewail ;
He ſcorn'd to be cclips'd by Mr. THRALE.

BOZZ v. 4

Ar UrINISs N, our friend to paſs the time,
Regal'd us with his knowledges ſublime :
Show'd that all ſorts of learning, fill'd his Nos ;
And that in hutchery he could bear a Bob.
He ſagely told us of the diff *rent feat

Employ'd to kill the animals we eat:

* Page 6. + Page 300.

Bs

An ox, ſays he, in country and in town,

0 | Is, by the butchers, conſtantly, Fe down: :

i As for that leſſer animal, a calf,

| The knock is really not ſo ſtrong by Baff.
| The beaſt is only //unn'd : but as for goats,
And ſheep, and lambs; the butchers cut their threats.

Thoſe fellows only want to keep them quiet;

Not chuſing that the brutes ſhould breed a rizt-

MADAME FIOS& LT

WIEN JoRNSON was a child, and ſwallow'd pap, |

| *T'was in his mother's old maid CaTHARINE's lap:

There, whilſt he ſat, he took in wond'rous learning,

For much his bowels were for knowledge yearning.

BOZZY.

B O Zz Zz Y.*

WHEN FoorE, his leg, by ſome misfortune, broke;
Says { to JohNsOoN, all by way of joke,
© SAM, Sir, in PARAGRAPH, will ſoon be clever,
And take off PETER, better now, than ever.“
On, which, ſays Jounson, without heſitation,
GEORGE T will rejoice at Foote's depeditation.”
On whichs ſays J, a penetrating elf.
cc DoQor, Pm ſure, you coin'd that word, yourſelf.”
On which he /augh'd; and faid I had divin'd it,
For bona fide, he had really coin'd it.
And yet, of all the words I've coin'd, 4 he)

My Dictionary, Sir, contains but bree.“
1 Page 141.

T George Faulkner, the printer at Dublin, taken off by
F oote under the character of PETER PARAGRAPH,

0 MADAME

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1

MADAME PIO Z 2 1.

THE Doc ron ſaid, in literary matters,

A Frenchman goes not deef—he only ſmatters :

Then aſk'd, what could be hop'd for from the dogs:

Fellows that liv'd eternally on Frogs.

SO £ & 3.”

IN grave proceſſion to St. Lennard's College,
Well ſtuff' d with ev'ry ſort of uſeful knowledge,
We, ſtately walk'd as ſoon as ſupper ended :
The LaxDLoRD and tne WAITER both attended :
The LANDLORD ſkill d a pi of greaſe to handle,

Before us, march'd, and held a tallow candle:

A lantern, (ſome fam'd Scotſman its creator)

With ed grace, was carried by the waiTER :

> K x .
Next morning, com our beds, we took a leap;

And found ourſelves much better for our ſleep.

MADAME

MADAME PIO Z Zz I.

FT |
5

IN Lincolnſhire, a lady ſhow'd our friend,
A grotto, that ſhe wiſh'd him to commend -
Quoth ſhe, ** How coc in ſummer this abode !”

« Yes Madam (anſwer'd Jouxs0x) for a toad.”
0 2 2Z We.

BezTWEEN old Scalpa's rugged iſle and Raſay's,

The wind was vaſtly boiſt'rous in our faces:
"Twas glorious, JonnsoN's figure to ſet ſight on
High in the boat, he look'd a noble TRITON!
But lo! to damp our pleaſure, Fate concurs,

For jo. the blockhead loſt his maſter's ſpurs :
This, for the RaMBLER's temper, was a rubber,

Who wonder'd Joſeph could be ſuch a [ubber.

Page 203. + Page 185.

C-2 MADAME

12

MADAME PIO Zz Z 1.*

I asx'D him, if he knock'd Tom OsnoRN + down;
As ſuch a tale was current through the town
j Says I, „ Do tell me Doc ror what befell,”
|| Why, deareſt lady, there is nought to ell:
I ponder'd on the prop'reſt mode to treat him
The dog was impudent, and ſo I beat him!
Tou like a tool, proclaim'd his fancied wrongs 5

Others that I belaboured, held their tongues.”

Dip any one that he was happy, cry—
JonNsoN would tell him Shag, 'twas a lie:
A Lady þ told him ſhe was really je -
On which, he ſternly anſwer'd, «* Map an, no.
Sickly you are, and ugly—fooliſh, poor;
| And therefore can't be happy, I am ſure.
| *T'would make a fellow hang himſelf whoſe car,

Were, from ſuch creatures, forc'd, ſuch ſtuff to hear.”
* Page 232. f Bookſeller, Page 285.
BO Z v.

Lo! when we landed on the Iſle of Mor,
The megrims got into the DocTor's ſcull:
With ſuch bad humours, he began to fill,

I thought he would not go to IcoLMKILL :
But lo! thoſe megrims (wonderful to utter!)

Were baniſn'd all by tea and bread and butter!

MADAME P10 Zz Zz 14

TR Doc ron had a caT and chriſt'ned Hop E,
That at his houſe in Fleet Street us'd to lodge
This Hop GE grew old, and ſick, and us'd to with
That all his dinners were compos'd of fiſh. |
To pleaſe poor HoD Gz : the DocTor all fo kind,
Went out, and bought him oyſters te his mind.
This every day he did—nor aſk'd black FRANK, |
Who deem'd himſelf of much too high a rank,

* P. 386. + P. 257,

{ Dr. Johnſon's ſervant.

With

1 5
A _ — :
PEI .
Re. A a — ———— — —
— ——
—

uw

3 — Doron

— —— —

11
|

N
4

NY gi aries * SR res,

[ 22 J

With dual gar FI. -fags, to be forc'd to chat,

And gurchaſc oyſters, for a mangy CAT-

SIR JOHN.

For God's ſake ſtay each anecdotic ſcrap :
Let me draw breath, and take a trifling nap :
With one half hour's refreſhing ſlumber, bleſt,

And Heav'n's aſſiſtance, I may hear the re/?.

Aſide.— What J have done, inform me gracious
Lord; |

| 5 That thus my ears, with nonſenſe, ſhould be bor'd ?

Oh! if J do not in the trial die,

1
The Dev'l and all his brimſtone, I defie :

No puniſhment in other worlds, I fear:

My crimes will all be expiated here.

Ah! ten times -happier was my lot of yore,
When rais'd to conſequence, that all adore;

J fat, each ſeſſion, king-like in the chair;

| |
Aw'd ev'ry rank, and made the million ſtare:

2

Lord

* * *
n N

E 1

Lord Paramount o'er ev'ry JUSTICE, riding:
In cauſes, with a Turkiſh ſway, deciding!
Yes | like a noble BasHaw of three tails,

I ſpread a fear and trembling through the jails !
Bleſt, have I brow-beaten each thief, and ſtrumpet,
And Llafted on them, like the LAST DarY's trumpet.
J know no paltry weakneſs of the foul—

No ſniv'ling pity, dares, my deeds, controul—
Aſham'd, the weakneſs of my Kixs, I hear;

Who childiſh, drops on ev'ry death, * a tear.
Return, + return again, thou glorious hour,

That to my graſp, once gav'ſt my idol, pow'R ;
When at my feet, the humbled knaves would fall;

The THUND'RING JUPITER of Hicks's HALL.

* Such is the report concerning his Mags TY, when he

ſizus the warrants for execution: Hob unlike the GREAT

FexEDERICE of Pruſſia, who deli in a banging.

T Sir John wiſhes in vain—His hour of inſolence returns

no more,

L 24 J

THE KNIGHT, thus finiſhing his ſpeech ſo fair;

SLEEP pull'd him gently backwards, in his chair:
„ Op'd wide the mouth, that oft on jail- birds, ſwore,
[if Then rais'd his naſal ORGAN to a roar,

That actually ſurpaſs'd in tene, and grace,

9 The grumbled ditties of his fav'rite BASE &.

* The violoncello, on which the Knight is a performer.

ECLOGUE

PART: ©

Now from his ſleep, the KNIGHT, affrighted ſprung,
Whilſt on his ear, the words of JOHNSON rung:

For lo! in dreams, the ſurly RAMBLER roſe,

And wildly ſtaring, ſeem'd a man of woes.

Wake Hawkins (growl'd the Doc ron with a frown)
And knock that fellow, and that woman down _
Bid them with JonnsoN's Life, proceed no further
Enough already they have dealt in mori :

Say, to their tales, that little truth belongs

If fame, they mean me bid them hold their tongues.

In vain at glory, gudgeon BoswELL ſnaps—
His MIND, a paper-kite—compos'd of ſcraps ;
D „

26

Juſt o'er the tops of chimneys, form'd to fly :

Not with a wing fublime, to mount the ſky.
| Say to the dog, his head's a downright drum,

Unequal to the Hiſt'ry of Tom THUMB:

Nay—tell, of anecdote, that thirſty leach,

He 1s not equal to a Tyburn Speech. *

For that P107zz1's wife, let me exhort her
To draw her immertality, from porter

Give up her anecdetical inditing,

And ſtudy houſewifery inſtead of writing -

Bid her, a poor #:ography, ſuſpend ;

Nor crucify, through vanity, a friend.

I know no buſineſs, women have with /carning-

J ſcorn, J hate, the mole-cycd, half DIsCERNING *?
Their wit, but ſerves a huſband's heart, to rack ;

And make eternal horſewhips for his back.

© SOS SoC SSL SLEEPS lA iS ESSE «hs.

Tell PETER PIN DAR, ſhould you chance to meet him,

I like his GENIUS-ſhould be glad to greet _

— ere eee rn ͤ —ᷓw—— — —
mon — — —— ee ns

* Com poſed for the unfortunate brave of Newgate, by dif-

ferent hiſtorians.

Yet

I

Yet let him know, RO w N'd HE aps are ſacred things,

And bid him rev'rence more, the BESTH OF KINGS ; *
Still, on his PEGASUS, continue 7g,

And give that BasweLL's back another flozging.

Such, was the dream that wak'd the ſleepy KNIGHT;
And op'd again his eyes upon the light—

Who mindleſs of old JonNSON and his frown,

And ſtern commands to Knock the couple gown ;
Reſolv'd to keep the peace—and in a one

Not much unlike a maſtiff o'er a bone;

* This is a /range and almoſt incredible ſpeech from FJobn-
ſon's mouth, as not many years ago, when the age of a certain
GREAT PERSONAGE became the ſubject of debate, the Doctor
broke in upon the converſation with the following queſtion :
Of what importance to the preſent company, is his age —
Of what importance would it have been to the world if he
had never exiſted ?? If we may judge likewiſe from the „l-
Irving ſpeech, he deemed the preſent vosskssOR of a cer-
tan THRONE as much a USURPER as King William,
whom, according to Mr. BoswEL1*s account, he beſcoundrel;,
The ſtory is this—an acquaintance of JoyNsoN, aſked him
if he could not ing. He replied, I know but oe ſong; and
that is, © The Kin ſhall enjoy his ::vx again,”

D2 | He

—— — . — . — 2

— —— — ͤ — — —ũ̃
— — — — - —
— 5
— -
- — —— — —

1

He grumbled, that enabled by the nap,
He now could meet more biographic ſcrap :
Then nodding with a mag!/iratial air,

To further anecdote, he calPd the FAIR.

MADAME PIOZ Z .

Dear DocTor JokxsoN lov'd a leg of pork;

And hearty on it, would his grinders work:

He lik'd to cat it ſo much over-done,

That cn: might /hake the fleſh from off the bone.

A veal-pye too with ſugar, cramm'd, and plums,
Was wond'rous grateful to the Doctor's gums.
Though us'd, from morn to night, on fruit, to fuff ;

He vow'd his belly never had enovgh.

LO 227+
ONE Thurſday morn, did Doc Tor JoHNsoN wake,
And call out Lanky, Lanky,” by miſlake—

But recolletting—** Bozzy, Bozzy,” cried—

For in contractions, JOHNSON took a pride!
- Tape 5, 1 Page 384.
MADAME.

1 29 ]

MADAMEPICGUG

WHENE'ER our friend would read in bed, by night,

Poor Mr. THRALE and 1 were in a Frigbt;
For blinking on his book too near the flame,
Lo! to the fore-top of his wig, it came!
Burnt all the hairs away, both great and 7 nall,

Down to the very net-work, nam'd the caul.

B OZ 1

Ar Corrachatachin's, in hoggiſm ſunk,
J got with punch, alas confounded drink -
Much was I vex'd, that I could not be quiet,
But like a ſtupid blockhead, bred a riot.

{ ſcarcely knew how *twas I reed to bed

Next morn, I wak'd with dreadful pains of head:
And terrors too, that of my peace, did rob me

For much T fear'd, the MORALIST would mb we.

But as I lay along, a heavy log,

The DocTor ent'ring, call'd me drunken dog.

* Page 237. .

Then

5

[ 30 ]

Then up roſe I, with apoſtolic air,

And read in dame M“Kinnon's book of pray'r;

In hopes for ſuch a ſin, to be forgiv'n
And make if poſſible my peace with heav'n.

Twas range, that in bat volume of divinity,

[ op'd the Twentieth Sunday after Trinity,
And read theſe words :—* Pray be not drunk with wine,
Since drunkenneſs doth make a man a ſwine.”

p |

Rl] fays I, the finner that I am

And having made my ſpeech, I took a dram.

MADAME PIOZZ1I.*

ONE day, with ſpirits low, and ſorrow fill'd,
I told him I had got a couſin killed
My dear, quoth he, for heav'n's ſake hold your canting;
Were all your couſins kilPd, they'd not be wanting - |
Though Death on cach of them ſhould ſet his mark,
Though ev'ry one were ſpitted like a lark—
Roaſted, and giv'n that dog there, for a meal;

The 1% of them, the world would never fee.

* Pace 63.
| Truſt

1 31 1

Truſt me, dear madam, all your dear relations,

Are nits—are nothings in the eye of NATIONS.

AGAIN, * ſays I one 3 J do believe,
A good acquaintance that I have, will grieve
To hear her FRIEND' hath loft a large eſtate.” —
« Yes” (anſwer'd he) © lament as much, ber fate,
As did your horſe, (J freely will allow)

To hear of the miſcarriage of your cow.”
SOS T0

Ar Enoch at M*Queen's, we went to bed I

A colour'd handkerchief wrap'd JounsoN's head :
He ſaid, God bleſs us botL—good nike then,
J like a pariſh clerk, pronounc'd, Amen /
My good companion ſn by ſleep, was ſeiz'd
But I, by lice and fleas, was ſadly teaz'd :
Methought, a ſpider with reveal claws,

Was ftriding from the wainſcot, to my jaws:

* Page 89. + Page 15 3.
But

But ſlumber ſoon did evꝰry⸗ ſenſe entrap 3

And ſo I ſunk into the ſweeteſt nap.

MADAME PIOZ Zz 1.

TRAV'LIN G in Wales, at dinner-time we got on,
Where at 61 lives Sis RokERT Cor TOR.
At table, our great MORALIST, to pleaſe
Says I, © Dear Doctor, arn't thoſe charming peas ?”

Quoth he, to contradidt, and run bis rig:

| * Mapan, they poſſibly might pleaſe a ris.”

| | E OZ 2A V+

Or Zhatching, well the DocTor knew the art,

And with his tbreſbing wiſdom, made us ſtart.

Deſcrib'd the greateſt ſecrets of the Mint

And made folks fancy that he had been in't.

0
k
|

Of hops and malt, 'tis wond'rous what he knew ;

And well as any BREWER, he could brew.

Page 70. | T Page 324.

MADAME

ES]

MADAME PIO

Ix geit, the Docror, ſtrongly did believe;
And pinn'd his faith on many a Iyar's fleeve :
He ſaid to Doc TOR LAWRENCE, *©* fure I am,
I heard my poor dear mother call out Sam.”
«© Em fure (ſaid he) that I can truſt my ears:

And yet my mother had been dead for years.”

BO Z 2 V4

WBREN young, ('twas rather filly I allow)
Much was I pleas'd to imitate a cow.
One time, at Drury-Lanc with Docrok BLAIR,
My imitations made the playhouſe flere /!
So very charming was I, in my rear;
That both the galleries clapp'd, and cried encore.
Bleſt by the general plaudit, and the laugh—

T tried to be a JAcKAss, and a CALF:

* Page 192. F Page 499.
| E | But

L 34 ]

But who, alas! in all things can be great ©

| In ſhort, I met a terrible defeat:

So vile, I bray'd, and bellow'd, I was biſfd—

| Vet all who knew me, wonder d that I miſs' d.

BL AIR whiſper'd me, You've loſt your credit, now.

Stick, BoswE LL, for the future, to your cow.

MADAME PIO Z Zz 1.

Fox me, in Latin, Doctor JokNso wrote

— — — ron me — L —
4 — 5 oy

— — —
1 OSS Su I Ir I III f , , . ̃ ͤ—1 n ᷑U— 8 — —

Two lines upon Six JostEen BAxks's goat:
A coarT ! that round the world, ſo curious, went —

A Ar ! that now eats graſs, that grows in Kenr!

OZ *

To Lord MonBoppo, a few lines I wrote,

And by the ſervant Joſeph, ſent this note

e Tus far, my Lord, from Edinburgh my home, |

| With Mr. SAMUEL Johxsox, I am come
*
„ * Page 70. ＋ Page Ts

This

35

This night, by us, muſt certainly be ſeen,

The very handſome town of ABERDEEN.

For thoughts of Jonxsox, you'll be not 2 to

I know your Lordſhip likes him Jeſs than I do.

So near we are—to part, J can't tell how,

Without ſo much as making you a Bow:

Beſides, the RAMBLER ſays, to ſos MoNnBoDD,

He'd wander two whole miles out of the road.”

Which ſhows that HE admires (whoever rails)

The pen which proves, that men are born with tails :

Hoping that as to health your LOoRDSHI does well,
Jam your ſervant at command,

JAMES BOSWELL.”

MADAME PIOZZ1I *

ON Mr. TRHRALE's old HUNTER JoHNSON rode
Who with prodigious pride, the beaſt beſtrode;
And as on BRIGHTEN Downs, he daſbd away,

Much was he pleas'd to hear a ſportſman ſay,

* Page 207.
. .

1 36 -]

That at a chace, he was as tight a hand,

As e'er an ill-bred /ubber in the land.

E

Ox morning Johxsox, on the Ifle of MuLr,
Was of his politics exceſſive full.
Quoth he, © that PLT NE was a rogue, *tis plain—
Beſides, the fellow, was a Whig in grain.”
Then to his principles, he gave a banging,
And ſwore no wle, was ever worth a hanging. -
6 *Tis wonderful (ſays he) and makes one ſtare
To think the LIVERV choſe Joun WiLKEs, LORD

| Mayor : | |

A dog, of whom the world could nurſe no hopes—

Prompt to debauch their girls, and rob their ſhops.”

M A DAME PTIOZ2ZE

SIR, I believe that anecdote, a lie;

But grant that JohNsoN ſaid it—by the by,

* Page 424.

As -

1

As WiIIEkEs unhappily your friendſhip ſhar'd,
The dirty anecdote might well be ſpar'd.

"KK OT 24 7

MADAM, I ſtick to truth as much as you,
And dammee if the ſtory be not true.

What you have ſaid of Jonxsor and the lar ls,
As monk, the RAMBLER, for a ſavage, marks.
Twas ſcandalous, ev'n CanDouR mult allow,
To 8 the hiſt'ry of the horſe and cow.

What but an enemy, to Joh NsoN's fame

Dar'd, his vile prank at LIT CHIEID PLAYT HOUSE,

name © |
Where, without ceremony, he thought fit
To fling the MAN and cHAIR into the piT ?
Who would have regiſter'd a ſpeech ſo odd, |

On the dead $TAY-MAKER *, and Doc rox Dopp?

}
it
1
4

5
53

1
>.

* Piozzi's Anecdotes, page 51, firſt edition.

MADAME

MADAME PIOZETLT

| SAM JounsoN's threſhing knowledge and his thatch-

| ings

|

May be your own inimitable hatching.—

Pray, of his wiſdom can't you tell more news ?

ould not he make à ſhirt, and cobble ſhoes ?

it ſtockings, or ingenious, take up flitches—

'» raw teeth, dreſs wigs, or make a fair of breeches ?

1 ou prate too of his knowledge of the Mint,

oy

As if the RAMBLER really had been in't—

Who . but you will tell us, (truth forſaking)
| hat each bad ſhilling is of Jonxsox's making :

1 iz, each vile fixpence that the world hath cheated—
Ind 5, the art, that ev'ry guinea ſweated.

| bout his brewing knowledge you will prate too;

| ho ſcarcely knew a hep, from a potatoe.

| nd tho” of beer, he joy'd in hearty iwigs,

lc pit againſt his taſte, my huſband's prg-.
| LES |

r.

.
1
x
.
+

00

How could your folly tell, ſo void of truth,
That miſerable ſtory of the youth
Who in your book, of DocToR JonnsoN, begs
Moſt ſeriouſly, to know if carts laid eggs?

MADAME PIO Zz Z .

Who, told of Mrs. Montague, the lie

So palpable a falſhood—Bozzy, fe!
SOS TS

M bo, mad'ning with an anecdotic itch,
Declar'd that JonunsoN call'd his mother b-tch ?
MADAME PIOZ ZI.

Who, from M Donald's rage, to ſave his f

Cut twenty lines of defamation, out?

BO Z Z V.

[ 40 ]

6 -

Ibo, would have faid a word about Sam's wig;
Or told the ſtory of the peas and pig?
Who would have told a tale, ſo very flat,

Of FR Ax x the BLack; and Hop G, the mangy car

MADAME PIOZ Zz 1.

Ecop | your grown at once, confounded tender
Of Doc rox Jonxson's fame, a fierce defender.
I'm fure you've mention'd many a pretty ſtory
Not much redounding to the Doc rok's glory.
Now, for a ſaint, upon us, you would palm him—

Firſt murther the poor man, and then embalm him!

6 YT

Axp truly, Madam, JounsoN cannot 50,
By your acquaintance, he hath rather, loft.
His character ſo ſhockingly you handle—

You've ſunk your COMET to a FARTHING CANDLE.

Your

5

Your vanities contriv'd the $AGE, to hitch in;
And brib'd him with the run of all your kitchen:
Yet nought, he better'd by his elevation

Though, beef, he won—he loſt his reputation.

MADAME PIOZEZL

One quarter of your book, had JohN SON read,

Fiſt-Criticiſm had rattled round your head.

' | Yet let my fatire not 2% far purſue—

It boaſts ſome merit, give the Dev'/ his due.
Where a and where PASTRY-COOKS reſide, I
Thy book with triumph, may indulge its pride:
Preach to the patty-pans, ſententious lu

And hug that idol of the noſe, call'd ſnuff;
With all its ſtories, cloves and ginger, pleaſe,

And pour its wonders to a pound of cheeſe /

BO £4 4 -.-

MADAM, your irony is wondrous fins l
Senſe in each thought, and ww in ev'ry line.

F | a Tet }

44 J

Vet Map AM, when the leaves of my poor book,

| Viſit the GROCER, or the PASTRY-COOK,

Yours, to enjoy of Fame the Juft reward,

May aid the TRUNK-MAKER of Paul's Chuncn-
Yard. |

In the ſame Al EHovszs, together us'd,

By the ſame fingers, they may be amus'd :

The greaſy ſnuffers, yours, perchance, may wife,

And mine, high honour'd, light a TopER's pipe.

The praiſe of Cour r NEX, K my book's fame, ſecures :

Now, who the devil, Madam, praiſes yours £

MADAME PIO Z Z I.
TrovsAnDSs, you blockhead no one now can doubt
it,
For not à ſoul in London is without it.

* The lively RATTLE of the Houſe of Commons—indeed,
its Momus ; who ſeems to have been ſelected by his conſtitu-
ents, more for the purpoſes of /aughing at the misfortunes of
his country than Healing the wounds, He is the author of a
poem lately publiſhed, that endeavours zotis viribus to prove
taat Doctor JounsoN was a brute as well as a moreli/t/ |

The

[ 43 4

The folks were ready, CAD DEI. to devour,
Who ſold the firſt edition in an hour.
So |—Cour TNEy's praiſes ſave you ah [—that ſquire

Deals, let me tell you, more in ſmoke than fire.

BD O D &
ZouNDs! he has prais'd me in the fweeteſt line— |

MADAME PIOZEL

Ar] ay! the werſe and ſubjef, equal ſhine,
Few are the mouths that Cour TNe x's wit, rehearſe—

Mere cork in politics, and lead in verſe.
= Q £4:

WIL, Ma'au! ſince all that lente [aid or wrete,
You hold fo ſacred—how have you forgot
To grant the æwonder-hunting world, a reading
Of Sam's Epiſtle, juſt before your wedding;
Beginning thus, (in ftrains not form'd ta flatter)

BE: Mapa,

1

3 © Ma AM,
If that moſt ignominious matter,
Be not concluded,” ©

farther, ſhall I ay?
| No—your ind ſelf may give it us, one day—
And u//ify your paſſion. for the youth
With all the charms of eloquence and truth.

MADAME PIOZ Zz 1

. . CHIC
.

WHAT was my marriage, Sir, to you, or him ©

| He tell me what to do!—a pretty whim |

He, to propriety, (the beaſt!) exhort !

| As well might elephants preſide at . |

| Lord ! let the world, to damn my match, agrec—

| Tell me, James BoswELL, what's that world to me &
The folks who paid reſpects to Mrs. Thrale ;

Fed on her pork, poor fouls ! and ſwill'd her ale,

May ficken at Piozzi, nine in ten

Turn up the acſe of ſcorn good God | what then?

For he Dev”! may fetch their ſouls ſo grea!/—

They keep their company—and I my meat.
90 18 11 When

*

F 4s 1

:

When they, poor owls! ſhall beat their cage, a Jai.

J, unconfin'd, ſnall ſpread my peorrock tail.

Free as the birds of air, enjoy my eaſe ; |

COhuſe my own food, and ſee what climes, I pleaſe. |

Jer only—if Pm in the wwrong—

So, now, you Pratting puppy, hold your tongue.

SIR JOHN.

For ſhame! for ſhame! for Heaven's ſake pray be |
quiet— |
Not BiLLINGSGATE exhibits ſuch 2 riot.
Behold, for Sc Ax DAL, you have made a feaſt,
And turn'd your 4, JoRNSON, to a beaf? :
*Tis plain that Zales of gboftr, are arrant lies,
Or 7nflantaneorfly, would JonnsoN's riſe :
Make you both eat your paragraphs ſo 9

And for your treatment of him, f/ay the devil.

Juſt like /wo Mcohawwks on the man you fall
Ne murd'rer, is worſe ferv'd at SURGEON's-HALL..

Inſtead

n

[ 46 ]

Inſtead of adding Pludor to his name,

Your er are downright gibbets to his fame.

Of thoſe, your 'anecdotes—may 1 be cus fd.

Ff I can tell | you , which of them, is worſt.

You leber, with poſterity can *

Tis by the Rambler's death alone, you live. —
Like wrens, (that in . volume, I have read)
Hatch'd by ſtrange Gorman, Is a HORSE'S HEAD.
Poor Sam was rather fainting in his glory—

But lo! his fame, lies foully dead before ye.

Wwe, to ſome dying man, (a frequent caſe)

Two doCors come, and give the coup de grace.
Zounds! Madam, mind the duties of a wife,

And dream no more, of Doc rox Joaxsox's life,
A happy knowledge in a pye or pudding,

Will more delight your friends, than all your /tudying.
One bd from ven'ſon, to the heart can ſpeak
Stronger than hu guetations from the Greek -

One fat Six Lol poſſeſſes more /ub/ime

Than all the airy caſtles built by RHIME.

One

I 47 1

One nipperhin of Ain go with a toaſt,

+

Beats all the ſtreams the Muſes FounT can boaſts

Yes! in one pint of porter, lo! my belly can

Find bliſſes, not in all the floods of Helicon

Enough theſe anecdotes your fow'rs have ſhown :

SAM'S Life, dear Ma'am, will only damn your own.
For zhee, JAMES BoswzLL, may the hand of FAE

| Arreſt thy gooſe-quill, and confine thy prate :

Thy egotiſms, the world, diſg!/tfed hears—

Then load with vanities, no more our cars

Like ſome lone Puppy yelping all night long;

That tires the very echoes with his tongue.

Vet ſhould it lie beyond the pow'rs of Fare,

To ſtop thy pen, and ſtill thy darling prate ;

Oh! W in ſolitude to live thy luck:

A chattering MAGPIE on the ISLE of Muck

THrus ſpoke the JuDGE, then leaping from the chair;

| He left, in conſternation, loft, the pair:

Black

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And vomit rb, +
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| Then to their pens, and per, ruſh'd the TWAIN

To kill the mingled Rhin, o o

* Docror JorrysoN' 5 Negro ſervant, | |
6 - * * 1 . 8 . ; ne] : ?

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